BODY COUNT.

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A RAPPER. A THICK-NECKED GREASY GUY. ONE SPECIAL MOVIE
[posted 03.22.2001]

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NOTHING SURPRISED ME in Exit Wounds except Steven Seagal’s lack of ponytail and lines, and how old he’s looking (he’s kind of the New Old Charles Bronson) — and the amount of incredible, reckless, unbelievable violence in the film. Watching this was like having a colonic and washing away ten years of safe action-movie bullshit. I haven’t seen anything this utterly reckless since Ronin or maybe Knock Off.

Here’s a sample:

1. Within the first five minutes of the film, Seagal runs a guy over, and later shoots down an entire motorcade, and shoots down a helicopter.

2. Seagal does a 720-degree flip over his opponent’s head during a swordfight, using the blades from two giant textile cutters as swords.

3. Seagal maneuvers a bad guy to hang from the back door of a moving van, to be crushed by an oncoming car.

4. Double impalements within 30 seconds of one another.

5. Seagal beats a Samoan security guard bloody with a chain.

6. Seagal manages to kick a gun in the air with his foot, blow off his handcuffs, and roll out of a van moments before it collides with a garbage truck and explodes.

7. Seagal rips apart a one-piece classroom desk, much to the chagrin of Tom Arnold.

8. Seagal shoots this big dumb white cop in the neck with a stun gun for a duration of ten seconds.

9. Seagal takes on five guys who are breaking into his truck, and clocks one of them in the head with a baseball bat.

Rest assured: Strippers paint each others’ bodies (and put ‘em on the glass). There is an aquarium in the film containing an electric eel. Sadly, Seagal breaks no one’s bones.

One big thumb up … Seagal’s best since Under Siege, though it’s no Marked For Death (which stands as his only non-Warner Bros. film, as well as his most recklessly violent).

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doug mosurak lives in brooklyn, ny and is gainfully employed as a writer (unlike you). he’s looking for that special lady — the kind who loves death wish 3.